...

Another long day...

A job interview, got lost in town again, sent some mail...

Sometimes, I feel like the only one who knows me here is the same computer I sit at everyday in the internet cafe-- at least it remembers my screen-name when I log on... I know I'm going bad around the edges when I get upset that someone else is already at my computer (#33). Yeesh...

rain, rain, rain

Well, I have someone responding to my blog! Hooray!!

Mr. Tube has his own blog now which is...

http://toobworld.blogspot.com/

Went looking for a job today with a little luck and a few leads. Rained all day, so I'm really getting a trial by fire on my scooter. Back on the 50cc, doing OK.

But the rain won't end.

I'm also cooking for myself after days of eating out. Went down to the Asian equivalent of a supermarket, got some bread, cheese (pasturized cheese food product is all they seem to sell), veggies and mushrooms, oh and chips-- squid crisps, seaweed puffs, a variety package! Very interesting. I didn't break down and indulge in the Golden Arches-- but I came close!! Cooked some greens and mushrooms (my favorite!) in a wok for the first time-- the gas burners here are wicked, the low setting is like an American high setting! Crazy amounts of flame and heat.

Anyway, the kid next to me seems to have long ago blown out his eardrums with computer music, and is inflicting his unnatural ability to listen to shitty techno music at unreasonably high levels on my own self, so I'm going.

My favorite Asian music as of late is this guy who seems to be popular at the moment who sings American standards like Frank Sinatra with a heavy Chinese accent. What with the stereotypical L and R problem...

How many typos this time!? :)
I gotta get outta here... He's playing a techno "rendition" of Old Lang Syne.

responding

So, if anyone does want to post a response to my posts, all you have to do is sign up which is pretty simple. And you won't be sent any junk mail.

That's all. :)



All domestic flights to Taiwan have been cancelled due to a typhoon.

But at least there's a breeze!!

typos...

Thank you Mr. Toby O'Brien for pointing out all my typos to me.

I'm still jet lagged and working with a friggin' Chinese spellchecker, cut me some slack!!!

Just because I'm an English teacher, doesn't-- I mean don't-- don't mean I gotta use da' language wit' any ak-u-racy!

Sheesh. :)

Oh yeah, don't worry mom...

Don't worry mom, I borrowed a 125cc scooter for my longer rides till I get the hang of the little one.

Actually, ya know... worry a little.

(Crazy damn drivers, no one knows how to drive in this country...)

How I long for the taxis of New York and their well mannered driving skills.

A friend told me that it's really easy to get a driver's lisence here because the test is on a course with pylons and orange cones, not on the open road! BECAUSE, it's impossible to drive without breaking the laws, so they aren't able to test you without you getting killed in the process.

Sheesh.

I'm turning into a grouchy old man...

The day thus far

Well, this is my trying to get my money's worth at the internet cafe.

type type type

The day has progressed well enough. Walked around the city's backstreets for a while, got some tea at a tea stand, read in the Taipei News about how China is preparing to confront the US with a fleet of submarines in the Pacific, had some noodles, got my phone set up... taking it easy today.

I got to talking with my housemates about NYC this afternoon and I realized how much I was missing home for the first time since my plane flew over Rockaway out towards Alaska. Too much has been going on for me to think about missing home... I've been homesick, but I haven't stopped to think about my home. A well traveled Canadian I've been hanging out with told me how he loved the NYC mentality compared to that of the English in London. Instead of being proud of what Lane you live on and what bottle of Chablis you had last night, it's how ghetto of a neighborhood you live in and how cheap of beer you can drink. I thought that was pretty funny. My Queens pride started shining forth. I suppose that is one thing kind of miss. Beer that'd cost a ton of $$$ for being "imported" from Asia is pretty cheap here, but they don't have 40s of Silver Thunder.

*sigh*

Truly, it is the little things you miss.

So, I have to send some of you beer can labels, they're really something. The usage, or rather: inappropriate usage of English, has been a fun sight.

There are three english label beers I can think of: "Taiwan Been" "Best Lager Beer" and my favorite, "Distinctive Flavor Beer." One of the foreigners told me about another one he saw called "Bar Beer" with a label that read something like: Think fun, live fun, when you want to have fun drink Bar Beer.

Classy.

Death by scooter...

Well, I've had my first run in with death.

The two things I have found essential to life here are:

1- Have the ability to laugh at yourself, and

2- In the immortal words of Zorak, "Watch your friggin' back!"

So, I wiped out on my scooter, almost crushed my leg...

For ease sake I'll just copy the e-mail I sent to my beloved wife:

I've had a bad evening/night/morning... after I got home from seeing the house I started getting real depressed and homesick. So, Tony said he was going out to this great veggie place, so I should come and then we'd go to the night market. I got happy again, until I got on my scooter-- it's a hell of a lot lighter than the 125cc, so I wasn't prepared for that, plus it shoots off instead of slowly building up speed. So, long story short, I almost got killed. I was trying to make a turn (which is much harder on the 50cc scooters), couldn't get a handle on the controls, tried breaking but accelerated instead and plowed into the sidewalk. I didn't get too badly scraped up, since I was wearing long pants, but my lower leg swelled up where the scooter fell on me. Tony said I was lucky since he knew a girl that shattered her kneecap the first time she rode a scooter, having the same problem I did. So I had a bad night. We went out to eat (the place was great, but I was too shaken up to eat much. I was too busy holding ice on my leg...) and then I just went home. To make things worse, yesterday was Chinese Lover's Day! Ugh...

Joyous. So, today I practiced some more on smaller streets-- it's not just the fact that I've never ridden a scooter before, (or that I snapped off the left rear view mirror when I crashed) it's that I have to (a) get the hang of a machine I've never ridden before, (b) remember to break not accelerate in a brain riddled with ADD, in a brain that's only way of playing video games is to press all the buttons at once because I can't remember which buttons do which moves, (c) remember to put on my turn signals while remembering not to accelerate before looking ALL WAYS, (d) try to peer into the minds of my fellow drivers because they don't know how to use their damn signals, and of course (e) not get lost.

The watch your friggin' back bit comes in because some drivers (especially of larger cars) find it an annoyance when scooter drivers stop at a crossroads, as their pleasure is to plow on throughout like they're driving a Ford Juggernaut. Even in the middle of Times Square, people would throw around such words as "irresponsible" "dangerous" and "deplorable" but here, here it's just another day.

Upon telling a housemates about my little run in with the sidewalk, one shrugged noting, "at least you didn't get hit by a truck," and the other told me "When I first got here, the first time I almost got killed it scared the shit out of me, now it's like 'oh, ho hum, I almost got killed today.'"

So that's it.

And I'm buying a statue of Saint Christopher to stick on my scooter.

Nice town, though.

My morning

I woke at about 6am this morning (thank you jet lag), had my cold shower (gas is expensive, so the hot water gets turned off in the hot weather) which I've gotten used to, and went out for breakfast. Walked through the everything store which is unavoidable since it assimilated the sidewalk , got a pair of sandals and a bag, and exited with receipt in hand. You pay the Taiwan lotto with the receipts-- they each have a number printed on them like lotto tickets, so you save your receipts to play.

OK, so this is breakfast: a man with a kitchen stand on the sidewalk has set up a bench and some chairs, and this is what you get from him-- miso soup with minnows, very good, slightly sweeter than most miso soups I've had. There are some veggies and little minnows... not quite how to describe eating a minnow. Kind of chewy, not much taste. So that's to drink. The main dish is sticky rice. It's a pyramid of sticky rice that's been cooked in a banana leaf, unwrapped in front of you when you buy it. About the size of a softball. At the bottom, there is a layer of peanuts that have seemingly been stewed a few hours to get them soft as any cooked bean. This mass of rice and peanuts is covered first with breadcrumbs, and then a thick, brown, sweetish sauce, that probably has some brown sugar in it. Then goes on the yellowey hot sauce, just hot enough to give your mouth a nice lasting heat, but not enough to make you run for the water. The miso soup, yes, but not the water. You eat the miso soup with a plastic, Asian style spoon, the rice with chop sticks.

Sounds strange for breakfast? Maybe, but I ate six hours ago and I'm still full. For 30 dollars too.

Oh yeah, so--
33-34 Taiwanese dollars is exchanged for 1 US dollar...

Oh yeah, typhoons...

Yeah, it's a great experience going up in a small plane out of Tokyo, seeing the city lit us beneath me, than noticing the reddish lightening off in the distance, slowly getting closer...

Very bumpy ride...

I'm still beat from coming over, and my body doesn't seem to want to accept my new sleeping patterns. When I go to sleep at night, it wakes me up after two hours, thinking I've had a lovely nap, refreshed and invigorated!!!

But aside from that, things are going well.

I went to see that place that we'll most likely be staying at, a nice little place outside the outskirts of town. Lots of bamboo, some pineapple fields, and plenty of trees. It is a little out in the open though, in respect to thunderstorms, one of which hit while I was there. The owner pointed to a garden across from his house with a burned down palm tree, telling me that the last time there was a storm a bolt of lightening came down, hit the tree, exploded a telephone pole along with his telephone line and telephone... but there is a park across the way, so I'm sold.

It's an odd experience being a foreigner here. People are very willing to help you get what you want, and language barriers have been met with humor so far, rather than with animosity towards my obvious shortcomings in Taiwanese dialects. A little different than some of the arrogance I've seen some westerners treat someone who doesn't know English...

Anyway, last night I went out at about 11pm, after a four hour nap (since I only got an hour's sleep the night before) looking for some food. There's a great little vegetarian place a few blocks away so I headed there. I stopped at the everything store (it seems like it's open 24 hours, so you can get those pantyhose or a new rice cooker at anytime of the night), got some lead for my pencil and a bottle of water (since the smaller Taiwanese eateries only serve soup to drink), paid my NT$1 for a plastic bag, as is customary-- this I didn't understand until I went to a 7-11 where they actually scanned a barcode on the bag, adding the dollar to my total. It then became apparent to me why the day before, when I was buying socks and green tea at the everything store, the woman at the country kept telling me "one, one" when I asked for a bag, then muttered something to the other customers when I left with the bag thinking "of course I only want one bag!" So, I go to the veggie place by myself (for the first time, since usually I've been with Tony, the guy who I'm renting my room from-- a nice Australian man who's been working here for a year to save up money to learn to play the sitar in India, and he speaks some Taiwanese), and try to communicate that I'll eat anything. After a few minutes of lots of hand gestures and a little help from a customer who spoke a little English, I was able to procure a bowl of fresh cooked noodles and vegetables in a peanut sauce, and a bowl of vegetables soup for about 1.25 US dollars.

While I was eating, the owner tried having a conversation with me, saying something about my hair (either that it's very nice and she wanted to know what shampoo I used, or that it was too long and she knew a good barber. I honestly am not sure which of the two it was, but she was very nice about it either way). The locals work very, very long hours. Stores open early and close late, many are open what seems like 24 hours, and when I've gone for walks late at night I see the owners catching some sleep in a chair while their kids eat or play nearby.

Sidewalks don't so much exist as US cities have them. Buildings are built with their second story out over the sidewalk, supported by pillars. What is underneath is the sidewalk, and the stores that line it are totally open, with a metal gate to pull down at night. The store and it's contents spill out onto the sidewalk, cars and scooters are usually parked on the sidewalks which is why you don't see too many baby carriages, though they do exist and it is theoretically possible to use them.

Well, that's all for now.

Next time I'll write about my life on a scooter-- I got a five minute lesson from Tony, seven minutes to practice and we hit the roads. In a land where traffic lights are ornamental and using turning signals is frowned upon, the daily commute is, as one of my housemates put it, an extreme sport every day.

I've noticed myself praying a lot more often...

Arrival...

And so, I have arrived.

I am safe, this place is amazing. I'm going to write more about the trip, flying through a typhoon, the sea of scooters, but I'm overwhelmed.

It is a lot like Queens, especially Main Street in Flushing (but on speed), and the countryside looks like Main Street imposed itself over Upstate New York. It is a bit polluted, but certainly no more than Times Square (here is little Tainan, anyway), but there are trees and plants anywhere they'll spring up, or anywhere someone can plant or pot them. Everything is so dense, so smushed in that it's quite beautiful. But in the end, it's not so different than home. I don't feel on the otherside of the world.

No matter where you go, there you are, right? So, it looks like rain so I'm headed back to my rented room. Internet cafes are everywhere, with fresh food served in them. Anyway, soon I'll figure how to post pictures...

I'll write more tomorrow.

BCnU

So off I go, Third star to the left and straight off to the ends of the earth

Tomorrow I leave...

Early, 4:30am in the car, off to JFK.

After the packing and the re-packing (to keep my bags under 70 lbs each...) I'm just tired. So, I've settled down to the computer with a nice, cold Queens style 40 of cheap beer (no , not the usual malted liquor, tonight it's special! Real beer!! Cheap, but real...) and send out a post before I go.

I wonder if I should compose some sort of Last Will and Testament... to ward off the fates. If I don't, the fates will be all ironic: "Oh," they'll say at my funeral, "he said he wouldn't need a Will, and now look... if only we had some sort of way *sniff* to know who he'd want his Babylon 5 video collection to go to."

It goes to my brother.

And Cecilia gets a bottle of my Dandelion wine, so does Bethany. I've always wondered if Bethany knows she's named after a small biblical town... she probably does. I usually spout off such interesting biblical facts to people I know for more than a few hours. Once, when I was working for the Dean two summers ago, I had to bring an envelope over to this nice woman in accounting named Masada, and out of nowhere, I'm telling her, "Masada, yeah. Did you know that that's an ancient city built in the Roman era upon a plateau, nearly impenetrable, where a band of Jewish rebels held off a Roman army for months before finally committing mass suicide instead of becoming roman slaves and whores?"

In fact, she didn't know.

Anyway, Bethany gets some dandelion wine, (some of the '04) and Cecilia gets my last bottle of '03.

Hmmm...

That's all. I'm taking the rest with me. Build a pyre out of my comic books, set me on top and send me off, burning into the Rockaway Sound.


Wow, I'm really setting the mood for this blog here, aren't I...

See you when I get there!!


Off to Betel Nut City,

And so it begins...

This is how it will begin:

With nothing to say.

In just about two weeks I will be leaving for Taiwan, to the city of Tainan where my family and I (along with our honorary family member and lifelong friend Rachel) will spend at least a year teaching English and eating rice at Mc Donalds.

Now, some might say, "Isn't it a little strange, someone from Queens teaching people the finer points of the English language?" And indeed they are correct. I myself can recall a day back when I was in the sixth grade-- I was sitting at my desk while Ms. Banahan stood up at the chalkboard, furrowed brow, staring into her teacher's manual trying to explain a past participle to the class, and I staring at my desk thinking to myself, when in life am I ever going to need to know this?? Well, now I am studying my grammar book, trying to figure out what a pronoun is, but still not quite wishing I had paid attention in 6th grade. For you see, folks, it only goes to show: The only time I ever needed to know rules of conjugation has been when teaching it to others, thus keeping the vicious circle of useless knowledge alive. I myself, a Queens native, am perfectly adept at expressing myself with a few grunts, some hand gestures, and a nod or two. But, if I give away that big secret, I'll be out of a job and a lot of old white men in bow ties will have my head.

So, I suppose I did have something to say.

I leave on the 17th of August, arrive at 9:30 in the evening the next day in Taipei's International Airport. Till then, my life is composed of packing, visa applications, absentee ballot forms, and trying not to grind my teeth too far down.